After a relapse, it feels like NoFap is just impossible to conquer, motivation drops, and negative thoughts begin to flood our minds.
Feeling this emotion, believe me, is very common. In fact, everyone—yes, even I—have felt the same for years before breaking out of this frustrating PMO cycle and actually finding a life that is worth living.
I feel proud that I don’t watch porn, I don’t even watch those half-nude models on IG and TikTok. You might be wondering, what changed? How did I break free from PMO?
Well, hold on—this post will uncover a lot of things. Just stay connected.
You Need Intrinsic Motivation
Intrinsic motivation is something that actually improves one’s life. No matter how many videos you watch of those gurus who claim to be on NoFap for years, no matter how many blog posts or threads you read on the internet, you just can’t break free unless you have developed intrinsic motivation.
Intrinsic motivation often comes from a traumatic situation—something that leaves a deep effect on your brain and soul.
In my case, it was when I found myself watching a video that I still regret watching. It still fills me with anger, sadness, and negativity when I think of it. I never thought I would go so low and end up watching such extremely dark videos.
I used to think, what have I done with my life? There was no motivation—just sadness and darkness.
Though that video was dark, it helped me overcome porn addiction forever. I never watched it again, and I don’t even have the urges to watch such content anymore.
I have a girlfriend now—she loves me, I love her—and I don’t need external pleasure to satisfy myself anymore.
There is an intrinsic motivation inside me that was triggered when I ended up watching that horrible video. I respect women more now. In fact, I respect everyone who is fighting and trying to improve themselves.
Now, what you need is intrinsic motivation too. There must be something that has happened with you, something that made you stay on NoFap for many days. Recall that moment—it can be anything.
Porn gives no benefit. It unbalances your brain’s reward system and fills you with negative emotions afterward.
Can you believe there are people who watch porn for 5 or 6 hours a day—daily? It’s so messed up. I don’t know where our youth is going.
There was a time when even seeing a nude picture was a big thing. Now, nudity is all over the internet and accessible to everyone.
In this age, staying on NoFap is one of the most difficult things you can do. But understand how fantastic your life would be once you’re on it, crushing it, and making new streak records.
Fill yourself with intrinsic motivation by saying some positive things to yourself. Don’t just depend on others for motivation—believe in yourself too.
Recall that moment that destroyed you inside. Recall it and make it a tool to fight urges.
You Need to Open Up
Though the internet has made porn accessible to everyone—making it difficult to stay on NoFap for a long period of time—at the same time, it has also connected people together. This means taking help is easier than ever.
There are many people who have quit porn and masturbation, and are ready to help you for free. You need to join communities where people like them share their stories. There is no shame in getting help from others.
Communities such as NoFap on Reddit can help you share your story and get some really good tips and advice.
You don’t even need to show your ID, your name, or what you do. Just post anonymously—that’s it.
Don’t just lock yourself in your room and fill your mind with negative thoughts. It’s not worth it. I know how it feels—I’ve been in a phase like that. I know it seems impossible to come out of it, but if you don’t move a needle, nothing is going to happen.
It’s even better if you challenge a friend to this journey.
I once challenged my friend—we bet on who could stay on NoFap longer. The deal was: whoever lost first had to pay $20.
That challenge alone made us stay on NoFap for around a month, which is so good.
Basically, what I want to say is: if you have a friend you share almost everything with, you can ask him for this challenge and bet some prize.
It may sound childish, but sometimes taking challenges like this can actually work—especially when money is involved.
Now, I’ve also created a group on IG. You can join it for free and help people like you. But please don’t spam courses or affiliate links—it’s purely for the purpose of helping people break free from PMO.
Finding Something Positive
You don’t need to complete the 90-day challenge to feel motivated and proud of yourself. Even completing one day should make you feel better and motivated for the next attempt.
See, the problem is that people always want to achieve what is almost impossible to achieve. And when they end up failing, they think it’s better to just quit and go back to the same shitty life.
Aiming for 90 days in your first try is a great thing; you will feel those initial motivational spikes, but after a week, when that initial spike goes away, you’ll feel some of the strongest urges, impossible to ignore.
As per my observation, around 90% of men just give up after a week. The percentage increase is even more (99%) if it’s your first try.
It’s absolutely okay if you just failed in your first week in your first try; you should feel great instead of crying over not completing 90 days.
You need to set your bar extremely low. See it as a marathon, not as hundered meter sprint. You just need to go step by step.
Basically, I wanna say, Yes you should stay longer on NoFap, but failing to stay longer should not discourage you but it should make you stronger and more resliance to those urges.
Just Get Up And Fight, Brother!
External Motivation Fades, Daily Routines Are What You Need!
Every successful person you see on the internet or in your surroundings is not successful because he has a lot of motivation; it’s because of how he manages his daily routines.
A successful startup founder doesn’t wake up in the morning and search for the best porn of the week. In fact, he hardly gets the time to even watch YouTube videos, let alone watching porn.
Let me ask a question: who is more likely to get addicted to porn? A person who is building a business, meeting new people every day, presenting his idea, making friends who are already successful, or a person who wakes up in the morning, grabs his phone instantly, and starts scrolling videos on social media? Tell me, who’s likely to fail in life?
Of course, the guy who wastes his important time on watching random people’s videos.
Addiction comes when you don’t have a bigger view, when you are without a goal, when you are free most of the time.
A motivational spike can lead you to successfully complete a few days on NoFap, but if you don’t have a routine, you just can’t stay on NoFap for longer.
Prioritize your career over porn. You need to be in a surrounding where everyone talks about growth, success, and money. Leave friends who encourage addictions.
Once, a famous person said, “You are the middle of your five friends.” So choose your circle wisely.
Tools To Use
I do not recommend signing up for those expensive coaching classes. Those coaches’ main goal is to suck as much as they can from you.
It’s better to get some online tools that can help you block porn, count how many days you have spent on NoFap, and an app that helps you feel motivated.
To block porn completely on your device, I recommend Covenant Eyes. It has a great blocker that completely shuts down any R-rated image from appearing on your screen. It’s a paid tool costing $18 per month, but it’s worth purchasing; in fact, it’s better than spending $150 per month on coaches.
If you want to sign up, you may click here. It’s an affiliate link, and it does help me earn some commission and dedicate time to this blog. Thanks!
Conclusion
To get success on NoFap, you need three things: intrinsic motivation, a positive mindset, and an environment where you can express your thoughts.
The biggest reason why most people fail is having higher expectations. First-timers think that they can conquer 90 days easily, and this kind of thinking sets them up for failure because thinking about completing 90 days feels very motivating, but when that motivation fades away, urges start to become stronger and stronger, making it impossible to achieve 90 days.
So never expect anything; just take every day as a challenge and try to keep yourself clean for that one day. That’s it!
Thanks for reading guys!
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