If you feel like you can never come out of the circle of PMO, then you are not the only one, my friend. A few years back, I was just like you—struggling every day, thinking that one day I’d be able to overcome my addiction to porn and masturbation.
But whenever I tried, I found myself fapping again, especially at night, alone, while watching some of the nastiest stuff out there. I used to really scold myself, but again, I went back to that same thing.
It felt like a circle: motivating myself → feeling encouraged → staying on NoFap for a couple of days → feeling strong urges → relapsing → feeling motivated again.
I was stuck in this circle for years.
What Changed?
Well, this is what we will discuss. So stay connected—this is going to be a ride, and this post can definitely help, especially if you are serious.
Urge Surfing
Nothing lasts forever—not you, not your friends, not even this universe. So urges are nothing; they are just waves that come and go. Once they are gone, you feel normal. In fact, you completely forget about porn and masturbation.
Urge surfing is one of the most difficult skills to master. I believe only a small percentage of people can actually do it.
Urge surfing doesn’t just help you fight PMO, but also with things like sugar intake, excessive screen time, and drugs.
In psychology, urge surfing is considered one of the best addiction-quitting actions.
Next time you are in a situation where you have your phone, internet, and no one is watching you, remember: the urges you are going to get last only a couple of minutes (usually about 5 minutes). But they can come again unless you keep yourself very busy.
Remember, these urges don’t last forever, which means you can surpass this phase and stay on the journey for a longer period of time.
Limiting Social Media, Especially Instagram and TikTok
The algorithms of Instagram and TikTok don’t care about your mental health. They only care about your watch time and how often you engage with their ads.
Their owners spend millions making these platforms hard to ignore. In fact, some people now spend more time on social media than doing things that truly make them feel better—like meeting their loved ones, spending time outside in nature, or building their future.
I have never met someone who is not a porn addict and still uses social media for more than 5 hours a day. If your screen time is more than that, you need help—and I’m serious.
Social media is not meant for spending multiple hours on. They work as a mind refresher. They mainly help those who have had a bad day and just want to chill on the couch and watch some funny cat videos or see the news about politics.
But here’s the problem: when you spend time on social media, your brain’s reward system gets activated. At first, it makes you watch normal content such as news, discoveries, and funny videos. But once it has received enough of those small dopamine hits, it starts to demand more. And that’s when things get more serious.
Your brain’s reward system begins to force you to watch things that give the highest spikes in dopamine—and who else but porn and masturbation?
PMO is one of the highest dopamine hits you can get. It blocks your senses, puts you in a false relaxing phase, and slowly poisons your brain’s reward system.
I discovered this social media–PMO connection long ago and was able to save myself. I remember once I was watching some cat videos and, after a few hours, I ended up making fapping sounds.
So basically, social media is a terrible place to be on for long hours—unless your main work depends on it.
Just try to limit your time there, so your chances of survival on NoFap stay high.
Starting Again!
No matter how your life is, you can always make it 1% better. That 1% is all you need to start coming out of the PMO cycle.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed 200 times or a thousand times—you can always get up and force yourself not to watch porn.
Starting again is the key to success. I mean, what would have happened if I didn’t stand up? It would have been finished for me.
I got up, fought, and became better. This is how you actually fight.
See yourself as a warrior who has been severely injured but has to save his kingdom no matter what. The warrior is you, and the kingdom is your brain.
Losers Can Be Winners, Winners Can Be Losers
All those streaks you see people achieving are mostly fake. They do it for attention or to make money out of you. Those so-called winners on social media are not always 100% true NoFap champs—they hide a lot of deep, dark, sad stories.
Meanwhile, people like you, who are genuinely doing better, think they are losers. But trying 100 times is better than bluntly lying, right?
Even if you complete just 3 days on NoFap, it’s much better than fapping daily, sometimes twice a day.
Never tell yourself those nasty, negative sentences. You don’t know, bro—those words you speak about yourself actually affect your mind. Every great person who ever lived has recommended speaking positively about yourself, even if you’re losing the battle or failing regularly.
I know it’s extremely difficult, and every day feels like a challenge, but telling yourself pathetic words will only make this challenge harder.
Notice athletes like Cristiano Ronaldo, Khabib, and LeBron James—they never say anything negative about themselves. They always say they are number one. And see—they are actually number one or close to number one in their respective fields.
Even though they are celebrities now and world-famous, they have also faced situations where they felt like giving up. But did they? No. They came back stronger and better.
Positive affirmations are a must. Say positive things to yourself daily in the mirror, no matter how terrible you’ve been feeling lately.
Must-Have Tools
I never recommend buying those gurus’ courses—you don’t need them. Some simple apps can help a lot.
- Porn Blocker: I recommend Covenant Eyes. If you buy their plan, which costs $20, I will earn some commission, brother, and that helps me write these blogs (though I’d still publish even if I didn’t earn a penny, because I truly want you guys to succeed).
This blocker can save you from mistakenly seeing any R-rated picture and triggering those urges. But remember: porn blockers only work when you have the will to improve. Otherwise, they are just a waste of money and time. - Day Counter App: Some NoFap gurus are against it, but I believe a counter actually helps.
Though it feels demotivating after a relapse (when your counter goes back to zero), these apps still help you understand how well you’re doing.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t reach your 90-day goal. What matters is whether you’re doing better than your past self. If the answer is yes—you should feel proud, no matter what others say.
Take Help from Communities
There is no shame in sharing what you’ve been feeling. Taking help from others and reading motivating words from an anonymous Reddit user is far better than sitting in your room, fapping, and feeling emotional about life.
Go and join the NoFap community. You can also join my Facebook group—it’s free, and I don’t allow spammers. It’s only for pure information and guidance.
If you also want to help others, you can share your blog post. Mail me at su*****@**********it.com and if I really like your post, I’ll publish it here on this blog.
YouTubers Can Help
YouTube videos from gurus—even though they try to sell courses—can still help you somewhat.
Yes, their main focus is to sell you a $1000 course, but they do share some great tips that may help you stay on your journey longer.
I have watched many videos—some really motivated me while others didn’t. The key is to find a good YouTuber or a blog/website that actually wants to help you, not just take your money.
You can save my website in your browser and come back later to read new posts. Also, I have a job, so it’s hard for me to write daily. If you don’t see new posts for weeks, don’t get angry at me—I truly want to post, but sometimes it’s just too hard to take time out of my schedule.
Please remember, I’m not an AI—I’m human.
Final Words
Stay strong, brother. Porn is evil. Stay away from it, king.
Until next time, have a great day!
Thanks for reading!
